2022; How to Stop Enabling a Narcissist in 10 easy steps

Caring is so 2021. Give it some thought. All you did was believe, and work hard, and trust your loved ones, and tell the truth? Where did that get you and your compassionate heart? Did you get broken? Used? Taken advantage of? Are you STILL letting them do it? And is it all because you care? Because you love them? Are you finished participating in your demise yet? If you think you are, then here is a powerful, must-have list for you to check off. This will start the shift inside you, from a mess of emotions, being played by a Narcissist, into full-blown, IDGAF attitude. Lets

begin.

10. Stop asking them ANYTHING. To engage them in answering you, is only to give them a platform to lie. And lie they will. Quit asking them questions. Make them present the lie to you all on their own. Its way less believable for you that way, and much more difficult for the liar.

9. Stop seeing to their needs, at a detriment to your own. Hey, do you find you are holding the door for everyone, yet no one holds the door for you? Well, who asked you to hold the stupid door? Stop that. At once! They can hold their own, right? Right.

8. No more catering to their wants and desires. Wake up and decide what you are going to do today. No matter what they come up with for you to do as the day goes on, do not deviate from your plans. When you stop being so available to them, they are forced to realize things are changing with you.

7. Prepare for them to be angry about you not bending to their desires, having to hold their own door, and not changing your plans. A Narcissist's first job is to control you. When that fails, it WILL be your fault and they will come at you with both barrels. Do not weaken.

6. Prepare for them to go find someone else that will do their bidding, and it will be someone you can’t stand. Its meant to incite you, so that you come running. They don’t want them, they want you, back the way they had you. If you fight for them, win or lose? You lose all the ground you’ve gained. Let ’em go.

5. You have to be alone for a while. You must heal. And that will be difficult because you are addicted to a co-dependent relationship. You have no idea what damage this has done to you. Be alone in it. Heal. Recognize what’s happened to your soul in loving them. Only by taking alone time, can we truly see the damage done to ourselves.

4. Seek out friendships and relationships you had before this one. Is there room to repair any that the Narcissist hasn’t helped you destroy? If so, do it. You will need accountability teammates, and those who have seen what they can do to a person will be your strongest team. They watched it happen to you and probably have some great advice for you.

3.Tell everyone you can that you are broken up with them. Mean it. Do not answer that phone from the Narcissist. Let ’em stew, and wonder. The more folks you tell, the more real it gets that you are done. For them and you. Make it real, and scream it loud from every rooftop until they all know you are finished.

2. Make a list of red flags you ignored along the way…things that started hurting your feelings, but your pride kept you from leaving them. Perhaps you oversold who they were, and by the time the red flag hit, you couldn’t explain it to others in your life, so you ignored the flag on the play. You let it ride. Never again are you to ignore red flags. Its the only arsenal we truly have against being preyed upon for our beautiful hearts.

1. Own your responsibility in it. If you blame only them, you are no better than they are. But if you see that you at least ALLOWED them to screw you around, and that at the very least, you participated in it with them? You want to stand a chance of changing your patterns, then it starts with accepting that something needs repaired inside of you.

Life is so hard, but its even harder if you are inviting in the Devil to Dine at your Dinner Table. Stop. Inviting. Heartbreak. Be alone. Wait for what you deserve. Take the time alone to work on yourself, and change who others see you as. The first thing you can do is love yourself, because honey, the Narcissist doesn’t love anyone. If you love yourself first, you will not need another persons love to complete you. And that takes away the power of the Narcissist.

Choose you. And anyone who truly loves you, will never make you doubt your worth, or yourself. I promise, you are worth it!

---written by Elisabeth Edgell